Almost Real Posting

I’ve seen a few of my Facebook friends posting lists of 25 random facts about themselves that others may or may not know. I liked this idea, so I thought I’d do one so as to contribute to the overall understanding of who I am. Unfortunately, who I am is very strange and potentially unstable, so it probably wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

Still, here’s what I wrote . . . and it’s all 100% true:

1. I have written three full novels and have come very close to gaining representation from a literary agent (I’m still waiting on a couple of them reading my manuscript).
2. The novel I wrote last year involved a man dying of cancer who befriends a vampire who is squatting in the abandoned house behind his–immortal meets imminently mortal.
3. I have a new novel currently in the editorial stage.
4. I have a dear friend in Buffalo, New York, who helps me edit my writing. I’ve never met her and we’ve talked on the phone once. Aside from that, we only communicate through regular emails.
5. I’ve written a short story about Russian Roulette as a spectator sport.
6. I met my wife at Nerd Camp (aka the Kentucky Governor’s Scholar Program).
7. I am have served on the Statewide Selection Committee of said Nerd Camp for six years now and review nearly 2000 applications from all over Kentucky every March.
8. I was at my wife’s first wedding, but I wasn’t the groom.
9. I have four children–three girls and a boy–the oldest being thirteen and the youngest (the boy) being five.
10. I majored in Psychology in college and, although I work in retail management, I still provide counseling services for one client, even when he doesn’t listen to me.
11. After playing baseball in high school, I switched over to play tennis in college and still play when ever I can. I am pretty good too, despite being a bit pudgy these days.
12. I have worked for Wal-Mart, OfficeMax, Toys-R-Us, Dollar General, Shoe Carnival, and Walgreens.
13. I once slammed an armed robber to the floor and helped hold him down by sitting on top of him until the police arrived. He is now serving 18-20 years in prison for the offense.
14. I once busted a shoplifter while wearing a Santa Clause suit, even going so far as to pin her against a counter when she got belligerent. When I saw a little boy standing nearby, I explained that “she’d been naughty.”
15. I’ve torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders.
16. I’ve been really, really drunk one time. That was enough.
17. I like Elton John more than any other straight guy you know.
18. I started writing after picking up Stephen King’s book “On Writing” on cd while driving home from a job in St. Louis. I’ve listened to that book approximately 200 times.
19. I’ve moved 21 times since birth, including the time I moved from an upstairs apartment to a downstairs apartment in the same building.
20. All the music from my last wedding was from “Phantom of the Opera” and I picked it out.
21. I’m a huge fan of the show Dark Shadows, which most people my age and younger have never heard of.
22. I’ve never been to Florida.
23. My wife is 4’11”; my oldest daughter is 5’6″.
24. My favorite movie of all time is “Army of Darkness” starring Bruce Campbell (“Gimme some sugar, baby!”)
25. I keep a blog that I am not updating sorta regularly–

Well, I’d write more, but the people in the white coats are coming to get me. I hope they brought the right size straight jacket this time.

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