I am a universe away from where I was last year when I wrote this. In the short span of 365 days, I have seen my world unravel in the midst of a painful separation and impending divorce and now, on this day set aside for lovers, I am left to pick up the threads in the hopes that I may stitch myself together and create something new.
For most writers, love is the most sacred of all things. It is the most versatile plot element—sometimes the impetus of the story, sometimes a character’s salvation, sometimes the motive for murder, sometimes the reason for living. Love is often the foundation on which a story, regardless of genre, stands. In romance as well as fantasy and science fiction and comedy, love provides the highest stakes and the greatest conflict.
For my part, I have learned a great deal about love in the past year and, honestly, most of it has been bad. I am still a romantic who believes in love as the most powerful of all forces, and no amount of rejection or heartbreak will change who I am. What I have learned, however, is that you can’t love someone enough to make them love you. No amount of kindness or affection or pleading can create love in someone where it refuses to exist. Love is like a bridge—it’s only useful if it connects two people together. No amount of work building that bridge will matter if it never connects to the opposite side.
Still, I believe that things happen for a reason and that the past year—the past few years, really—will eventually lead to a new, exciting time in my life. I will not wait for love—it will find me when it’s ready as long as a I am still open to receiving it. In the meantime, I will work on everything else (my kids, finishing school, my job, etc.) so that when it arrives, I’ll be ready.
I know this post hasn’t been very entertaining, so I thought I throw a video in with it. I’ve been listening to this song a lot lately and it says a lot about my thoughts on love that I couldn’t articulate nearly as well as Ray LaMontagne does here: